Why do I work?
I’m trying to remember how to work my blackberry in the office so here’s the next of the guest posts on the topic of work. The ‘All in a Day’s Work…’ Blog Carnival for the week is still running so if you have written a post about work, or you’d like to, just click on the badge to find out more and linky it up.
Today’s guest post is by Otilia from Romanian Mum in London. She’s a mum to a young daughter and, as the title suggests, she is originally from Romania. She blogs about everything from her post-natal depression to recipes for cheese muffin and all in her second language. Pretty impressive, hey? You can follow her on Twitter here.
Well to tell you the truth even though I went back to work more then a year ago I still question myself why…
Did I go back to work because it wasn’t enough for me or because I needed money? Yes! I am that selfish bitch!!! But wait…no! I have a confession! I went back to work because I was DEPRESSED! Yes! I was so depressed I use to cry several times a day! I just didn’t know who I was anymore and I needed it a change of scene! I know it was drastic to leave my daughter at nursery full time - 10 hours a day – from such a young age! She was only 9 months old and I just couldn’t take care of her anymore….I have to admit it! I was too depressed to take care of my daughter on a full time - daily basis! I had to heal myself first and because work wouldn’t accept me going back part time I had to compromise and go back full time. I thought this will only be for a while and that soon I will get pregnant again but the second baby failed to arrive. So here I am two years down the line still in a full time job and even more depressed because I’m failing to give my daughter a sibling.
Until a couple of months ago I use to work in Fulham which is not central and my hubby use to drive me to work almost every day. I miss that very much now as this was replaced by ignorant people on Northern and Victoria line tube. I’m always in a hurry. Mornings I run around to get myself and my daughter prepared for the day. Then I run to the bus and then to the tube to try and get to work as early as possible. If I get there earlier I can leave earlier. Four out of five days my hubby drops and picks my daughter from nursery. I get to do it once a week and when I have to do it I need to leave work early to get in time to the nursery and not be charged. You see if you are late for the pick up you end up being charged £5 every 5 minutes! I found this ridiculous! We pay for nursery from 8-6 but in reality she stays there between 8.30-17.30. I am more afraid of being late for nursery than being late for work!
As you can see, my life is not perfect and sometimes I wish I was a stay at home mum. But then I remember why I went back to work and I realise that I am still sane and functioning because I work.
I think I love my job…it might not be what I want to do for the rest of my life but very few get to do what they love. Maybe soon I will get to spend more time with my daughter and maybe my depression will go away soon too and then I can be the happy person that I want to be.
Was it the right decision to go back to work 2 years ago? Yes and I’m not regretting it. You need to do whatever works for you and if that changes in time you can always change your mind and change the way you live . All we can do is just go on and move forward in our life. We can only hope that we make the right decisions for us and for our family. We will make mistakes no matter what path we choose. We are humans and we are meant to learn from our journey.