T is nearly nine months now and I hadn’t realised how quickly the time had gone until I got the ‘when are you coming back?’ letter from my boss. My heart sank a little because I can’t quite imagine leaving him at nursery yet but unless we all stop eating or win the lottery we can’t afford for me to stay at home. So a few emails later and it’s all agreed. I’ll be going back full time in mid-December. *Sniff*
If I’m honest, I’d be a terrible SAHM longterm anyway. It would be a disaster. I’m rubbish at looking after the house, except for baking I’m a mediocre cook at best, I know I’d miss the challenge of my job after a while and Hubs would be insufferable if he was the only earner. But still, it would be nice to have a choice.
Being a second time mum has been much more fun that the first time round because I feel like I know what I’m doing (mostly) and I’m much less worried about things but the big down side is that I know what’s coming. I found the first couple of weeks back at work after E was born unbelievably hard.
He was 14 months when I went back and was such a happy, sociable toddler that I hadn’t expected him to have any problems but every morning when I dropped him off he would just howl as soon as we walked through the door and cling on to me screaming until one of the girls managed to disattach him. It was just awful. They would always say ‘Don’t worry, he’s fine once you’ve gone’ but then they were hardly going to tell me he was deeply traumatised and I should stop being such a terrible mum and give up work, were they? I’d then spend the next half an hour sobbing in the car park making myself late.
I was distracted all day because I was worried about him. I looked a state because of all the crying and the sticky toddler fingerprints all over my suit. It was such a battle to get us both ready and out of the door on time in the mornings that I kept leaving things I needed at home. To top it all off he’d come home with a new cold each week and give it to me and Hubs. It was a really miserable time.
Of course after a month or so everything started to settle down. E loved nursery and would toddle off to find a toy without giving me a second glance in the mornings. I got back into the swing of things at work. We even managed to get a bit of a routine going so it wasn’t quite so hectic.
Now I’ve got to do it all over again. Eeek!