While I’m busy starting back at work a gaggle of lovely ladies have kindly agreed to guest post for me on the topic of work. I’ve also set up a Blog Carnival for the week so if you have written a post about work, or you’d like to, just click on the badge to find out more and linky it up.
To kick us off, my first guest this week is the fabulous Rhiannon who you will normally find blogging over at A Hell of a Woman. Should you so desire, you can also follow her on Twitter. She’s recently completed a ’12 days of Buffy’ challenge for which she had to tick a task off her To Do list while also watching and considering an episode from the first series of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Sounds odd but they are a brilliant read and sometimes we all need a kick up the bum from a superhero to make us get on with all those jobs that have piled up. Rhiannon describes herself as:
a Buffy obsessed mum of 2, prolific cake eater, obsessive reader, lover of all things supernatural and secret coveter of a real life that matches my imaginary life!
and once you’ve read her post I heartily recommend you pop over and check out her blog.
When I grow up, I want to be a…
…and that’s where I peter out every time.
When I was in my teens, I always assumed that by the time I was “old” (read: over the age of 30) I’d not only know what I wanted to do with my life but I’d also be busy doing it.
I’ve recently turned 34 and neither of those assumptions have come to pass. I can however tell you:
- I don’t want to work 9 – 5
- I don’t want to work in an office
- I don’t want to have to deal with other people if, on any particular day, I don’t fancy it
- I don’t want to have to wear a business suit or other formal attire
- I don’t want to work in a non-creative/artistic environment
Considering half the battle in figuring out what you do want to do in life is by deciding what you don’t want to do, I should be half way to my perfect career shouldn’t I?
As much as I’d love to say yes, the sad truth is no. I work in an office for an Insurance Company, having to deal with other people whether I fancy it or not, and all the while wearing “business” clothes. The only reason I don’t work 9 – 5 is because my flexible working request was approved after my first son was born. Instead, I work 8 – 5 on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
So, what happened?
Well, I “fell” into my job in September 1999. I’d been looking for something that would get me into employment and which would tide me over until I found that special something I was certain was out there somewhere.
I didn’t rush to find another job as it was a nice, easy little number with great people and decent benefits, and crucially, I felt I had plenty of time to figure out my dream career and make a change. Looking back, I do wonder how different my life would have been if I’d been more proactive and, well, ambitious at this point.
I met my husband in 2002 and a year later, we bought our first house together. Six years later, we started trying to conceive and in December 2009, our first son was born, swiftly followed by our second son in July 2011.
For me, it was from the moment we took on a mortgage that I felt my job options start to shrink and this continued after we decided to have a family. As much as I daydream about handing in my resignation and making a complete employment u-turn, realistically this isn’t possible. I have responsibilities and right now, these take priority over my dreams.
There are times when I feel incredibly frustrated and unhappy. I feel life has thwarted and trapped me and I’m scared I’ll never get to walk the path of my dream job. That’s when the rational part of my brain kicks in and reminds me “hey! You don’t even know what this elusive dream job is yet!”
I recently started blogging to rediscover who I am and I hope as part of this process I’ll finally be able to figure out what it is, career-wise, that will enrich my life and bring me great joy and fulfilment.
Thankfully, I’m a great believer in the mantra “it’s never too late” so no matter how long it takes, one day I’ll hold my head up and say “this is what I want to do and check me out, I’m doing it”.
And if I don’t, I’ll just keep quoting these words from Baz Luhrmann’s song “everybody’s free (to wear sunscreen)” to myself:
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life.
The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
I can live with being an interesting 40 year old!
So now I throw it open to you. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Thanks for this Rhiannon. I do wonder if I’d be happier if I’d been more organised in my twenties but I think I’d probably have changed my mind about what I wanted by now anyway. Maybe one day we’ll just have a blinding flash of inspiration and it will all become clear. Fingers crossed, hey?
Yes, I think you’re right, we probably would have changed our minds by now. I think what I’d like most is to have the freedom to try out all the different jobs I’m interested in but financially that’s not an option yet. Our time will come 😉
Great post, Mrs Slayer. That rings so true, and I am sure it applies to 95% of people. Even if they’re perfectly happy in their career, I bet that for most of them it wasn’t the one thing they always dreamed of doing. I’m lucky in that I have sort of muddled along and realised I have done what I wanted. When I was about 12, I remember, I was reading a theatre programme and thought how interesting it would be to source all the images. Didn’t think about it again until 20 years later, when I was doing just that for English National Opera, but without having had a gameplan to get there. After a while I dreamed of being a freelance writer. Then I was made redundant and was able to pursue a freelance career, which I am still doing. You see, it’s pure luck most of the time. I wish you plenty of it for when you’re 40!
I’m going to keep my fingers crossed that myy luck is still to come 😉 It sounds like you’ve had an interesting, and varied, career so far. What’s next on your agenda?
What a brilliant post!! I am 40 and like you I get really frustrated! I am a teacher but gave up after child number 3. I would love a job that is reasonably well paid, fits in around the children and that I love. Any ideas let me know!
It’s so frustrating isn’t it to not be able to pin down what that “something” is!
I always envied people who knew what they wanted to do from an early age. Mostly Dr’s & vets. I wanted to be a vet but my mother said girls couldn’t do it & I wouldn’t get funded. Then I realised that 3 x a’s would be hard work so blaming Mum looked like an easy way out. Being a midwife was great training for when the dog had puppies though! My ideal job? Any vacancies for canine midwife?
I was lucky in that I always knew what I wanted to do and I was able to achieve that. But, things change. Priorities change. Sometimes the job you thought was perfect no longer fits in with your plans like it used to. I think more people than you might think are searching for that elusive job which slots easily around other priorities and isn’t half-bad, so don’t beat yourself up about it too much x