I love providing my boys with healthy and tasty food. And that is one of the reasons why I got a water softener system installed at home, so that it helps to make the food taste better, which harsh water does not do. I’ve had my fair share of Mexican stand offs with the boys over food over the last four years. Luckily we’ve all learnt some lessons over that time and now eating is mostly stress free with the boys generally eating what they are given. Because I’m all about the sharing here are my suggestions to get them eating and make dinnertime more pleasant for everyone.
1 Don’t worry – They won’t starve
When you first have a baby a large part of your time is spent trying to get as much milk into them as possible and making sure they gain weight. By the time you’re weaning and especially once they are two or three you don’t have to be quite as concerned. It may seem like they are hardly eating anything but as long as they aren’t losing weight rapidly and don’t seem unwell (in which case you obviously would have gone to your GP by now) they will be fine. Don’t be pushed into giving in to their latest demand because you don’t want them to ‘go hungry’. For me this is the most important part of addressing fussiness.
2 You decide what, they decide how much
It’s no surprise that young kids don’t know the first thing about nutrition so we can’t expect them to make good choices by themselves. My approach is to provide food that I’m happy for them to eat (which does include ‘junk food’ and sweet things in moderation) and then let them decide how much of it they want with the understanding that there isn’t anything else on offer. Occasionally this will mean they don’t eat very much or they’ll only eat one particular part of the meal (this does no harm and just means they are hungrier at their next meal or snack) but most of the time, now they know they won’t get something different by complaining, they will eat what I give them. I’ll be honest though, this did take a bit of perseverance on my part at the start. I think it’s a bit like the food equivalent of sleep training while using the best CPAP pillow.
3 Let them have a bit of a say
Although the meal has to be down to the parent, giving them options like peas vs carrots or peach vs strawberry flavoured yogurt means they are more likely to go along with the meal as a whole.
4 Ask them to try things
Now E is a bit older and more open to discussing things, if there is a particular part of the meal that he says he doesn’t want (generally something new) our response is ‘I think … is really nice and I think you’ll like them. I’d really like you to try one/some but it’s up to you.’ If he says no we leave it at that (knowing he’ll probably have some next time) and if he tries some but says he doesn’t like it then it’s ‘good boy for trying some’.
5 A routine makes sure they are hungry at mealtimes
Without wanting to sound too Gina Ford, a routine can really help. If mealtimes happen at around the same time everyday they are likely to start to get hungry at that time and are then more likely to eat well. It doesn’t have to be really restrictive though. My theory is that if you have a good routine most of the time you can deviate from it when they are ill or you’re away from home etc and get back to it quite easily when things settle down.
6 They may genuinely not like something
If there is something they will never eat regardless of their mood, how you present it or where you are it may well be that they are not being awkward and they actually don’t like it. Even toddlers are allowed to have personal tastes I suppose. So far I’ve found E will not eat mushrooms unless they are absolutely tiny and lost in a sauce and T doesn’t like cinnamon. While they continue to eat everything else, I’m happy to let them avoid their pet hates.
7 Fruit can be a treat
Much as I love them I can understand why some vegetables with their strong tastes and crunchy textures aren’t always enthusiastically received. Fruit on the other hand can be made into a treat. Grapes, raspberries, nectarine and melon are just a few that are sweet, juicy, finger sized and colourful. We have some fruit after every meal whether there is pudding or not. It’s now just part of the routine and it means I can relax a bit if the boys have only managed 1 1/2 sprouts as they are still getting plenty of fibre throughout the day.
8 Snacks are fine
We usually have a mid morning and a mid afternoon snack. They will generally be fruit or something like cheese or olives and sometimes they’ll be less healthy like a biscuit or some crisps, particularly if we are out at the time. The important things are size and timing. If you want them to be hungry at their next meal time then snacks should only be small and ideally at least a couple of hours before you want them to eat again. The only caveat to this is that if they haven’t eaten much at their last meal the snack will only be a very small bit of fruit to make sure they don’t think they can get something nicer by holding out until snack time. Unfortunately this means they are likely to be hungry and grumpy but it shouldn’t happen often once they are used to it. Told you I was a mean mummy!
9 Attitude is as important as nutrition in the long run
Of course, providing a balanced diet if crucial but turning meal times into a battle for the sake of a spoonful of peas is not going to lead to a healthy attitude to food in the long run. People can also check out supplements if they need the best weight loss supplements – check Diaetoxil Preis here for the best weight loss supplement in the market. As the boys get older I want them to see meal times as enjoyable family time and to try new foods enthusiastically. Once you’ve got point 1 sorted and you’re happy that they are getting a good mix of foods throughout the week you can relax a bit, worrying less if they have chosen not to eat well at one particular meal and thereby making meal times more pleasant for everyone.
Now I’ve written this all down I find myself strangely annoyed that I have 9 points and not 10. Do you have any tips I should add to my list?
[Throughout April I’m taking part in the A to Z Challenge (I’m a bit behind shhh…don’t tell anyone). This is my post for L. My last post was about Koalas and Kangaroos and next time I’ll be talking about Mammasaurus’s Mission.]
Images: Clare Bloomfield / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
No 10 involve them in making the food. You can have discussions about colour, texture, feel etc whilst cooking and can experiment with eating ( some) foods raw and then cooked and talk about the differences. There is a huge pride in sharing what you have cooked
Oh yes, definitely a good one. Thanks Elaine.
Really useful post. You don’t sound like a mean mummy at all. We are getting on pretty well here with food, but sometimes I see the beginnings of fussiness emerging. I so don’t want mealtimes to be a battle – there has been enough of that in my family I think…
I’ve tagged you very gently in my post for the letter N BTW.
I think they all have fussy phases and want to try and assert themselves which isn’t really a bad thing, I suppose.
Sorry, I read your name post on my phone and forgot to go back to comment. I’ll be there anon. x
Great tips for the future (my boy is only 15 months) do you think its true that if you try something 10 times you get to like it? I’m trying to get my boy to eat pieces of vegetable like tomato, pepper, cumcumber etc – he just doesn’t like them. I haven’t had the heart to repeatedly give them to him!
Thanks, I think there is a difference between them actually disliking something and just not particularly liking something so I just tend to rotate through stuff they aren’t keen on and they’ve given most stuff a go over time.
We have just started to get a bit stricter with Iyla at dinnertime. It was turning into a stressful nightmare but now I know that she can sleep a full night without much food I have relaxed a bit. Her latest is to tell us to ‘chuck it in the bin’ when she doesn’t like something. She did this with Mother in Laws (if we were married) cake earlier! But she does now eat chicken stir-fry, cottage pie and fishfingers as well as pasta so we are getting better!I do always try to remember that she might just not like some things, I am healthy but there are a lot of things I wouldn’t eat so she probably does get a bit of it from me! x
That’s it, once you get over the panic about them not eating enough at any one meal the whole situation gets much less stressful and then you can set whatever boundaries you think are appropriate. ‘Chuck it in the bin’ is funny, I bet it’s hard to keep a straight face when she does that.
This is really helpful hun as we are starting to get into this uncharted teritory, thanks for the tips.xxxx
I sure all kids are different when it comes to eating but I hope it helps.
A very useful post. Eating can become such a battle in homes.
Thank you, it can be frustrating for everyone involved so it’s not always easy to take a measured approach in the heat of the moment.
Good post, I agree with so many. So true, they won’t starve and I think giving them options makes them feel like they are involved. x
Thanks Susan
Great post! I’ve been working with families to transform their picky eaters into food-confident kids and your 9 points are very, very similar to the techniques that I use. However, I disagree that it’s a “mean mommy” approach. While it may feel mean at times, it’s actually a “kind mommy” approach because you’re giving them much more respect that a lot of other methods that I see used frequently. You’re respecting their decision whether or not to try something. You’re respecting their decision of how much to eat. And, you’re respecting whether or not they like something. Congrats!
Kristen Yarker, MSc, dietitian
http://www.vitaminkconsulting.com
Thanks Kristen, always nice to get the perspective of a professional and I’m glad I haven’t said anything that horrified you 😉
We are also trying to grow some of our own food this year to get my little man more interested in veg. Fingers crossed!
Agree with most of the tips and observations. However, they probably apply better to neuro-typical children. As a Mum of an older son with autism, I can add that they might refuse eating, full stop, so will definitely starve themselves and won’t be trying any new/unusual foods (learnt the hard way, when we stayed abroad, and our son lived on biscuits and grapes for a week, and refused anything else offered.)
Love this post, mealtimes can be a mission in this house! Will be trying the ASAP! xx
We follow much the same principles, with added ‘no pudding if no clean plate’, and exercise before meals rather than routine. My six year old, who I think is a fussy eater, now eats pretty much everything, even if she still doesn’t really like onions or spices or sauces. She has come to like lots of vegetables (broccoli! salad! broadbeans!), and will often eat them first, and is mostly over her previous dislike for anything tomatoey. I realize how fab she is when we have her friends over and they are still on plain pasta and refuse to even try stuff.
I wish I had been firmer younger I will begin again tomorrow following your tips cat!
Mealtimes in our house are definitely my most least favourite part of the day.
Ahhh the stress!
I’m going to take these tips on board and toughen up.
One little tip I heard (can’t remember were sorry) for younger kids unsure about a new food is to try this 3 step approach – smell it, kiss it, lick it. It got my daughter to try al kinds of stuff she’d have just said yuck to by the look of it.
It is an unfortunate stage they all go through – how we handle ourselves as parents has as much to do with it as what they like. Sadly it takes us a while to figure that out 🙂
Yes, I think you grow in confidence over time and then seem to have fewer issues. I guess that’s parenting all over isn’t it?
Point 10…. Getting them involved in food preparation and baking often makes them more willing to try new things as they have a degree of pride from making it themselves. (Obvs doesn’t work with babies, but works once they are about 3 years old and upwards) xx
Definitely, E loves showing off what he’s made when Hubs get’s home and of course whatever it is is immediately considered yummy!
10 get them involved in growing and cooking! We also agree that they have to try something 9 times before they can say they do not like it as I read somewhere that it takes 9 times to get used to a taste!
Great point, things picked from your own garden are sooooo much more exciting than boring old veg from the supermarket.
Awesome post and some real lessons I’ve learned as Curly Girl and I travel on this road together. I still get frustrated and worried when she doesn’t eat more than two bites of a meal but I’m trying not to let it show!